I wanted to share this video with all my friends and family that gave us so much support as we fought Jeff's cancer this past year. Merry Christmas and a very healthy and happy New Year.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
This last entry is the hardest ever
On Thursday April 2 Jeff was rushed to Oak Hill Hospital with what ended up as an abdominal aneurysm that had burst. Normally people don't even make it to be hospital and die shortly after it happens.
Around 3AM on Friday the vascular surgeon reviewed the CT scan and gave him a 30% chance of survival if they did perform the surgery - and not only would he have to be intibated (breathing machine) but he would have to be put on dialysis because of kidney failure. This was because the aneurysm was located right below the kidneys and they would have to shut off the blood supply to correct the aneurysm. The big word was IF he survived. The surgeon said he would also be in terrible pain as well. He also said that if he did survive the surgery (followed by added dialysis) he would still have to deal with the brain tumor.
He said this was 'MAJOR MAJOR' surgery but the outcome did not look promising.
The other alternative was to make him "pain free" and comfortable and he recommended that. He said he has less than 24 hours. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make but elected to let him die peacefully without any pain.
Right after the decision was made - they gave him some great pain Rx and I asked him how he was feeling. He said he had no pain but he also had no feeling in his legs from his toes to the pelvic area. The doctors said that was very normal and to expect more of those symptoms.
Around 6AM I asked the nurse to call in the local Catholic Priest. He arrived around 6:30AM and started the "last rites". When Jeff saw him he just looked from me to him and back again and then made the sign of the cross. I truly think he knew it was the end.
After the Priest left I told him that when he gets up in Heaven to please pray for us poor souls left here on earth and his response was "not now" and smiled. I then apologized for losing my temper and getting angry over the past year and it wasn't directed at him but at the situation we found ourselves in. His response to that was to take his finger and thump my nose. So he hadn't lost his sense of humor even to the end.
I came home to shower, etc. and was right back up there mid morning. Around 5PM I left for home - my eyes were burning from no sleep. Don't know why I did that because I never did get any sleep. Called the hospital around 10PM and the informed me they had moved him to the second floor - had a couch set up with pillows, blankets and sheets and I could stay the night. I rushed back around 11PM to spend the night.
He had a male nurse (Eric) who entered the room and asked if we were people of faith and I told him yes. He then asked if he could pray with us. I've never seen this happen before but Eric knelt down at the foot of the bed and prayed. I do know he came back into the room to put another blanket on me and I finally slept until 6AM.
The vascular surgeon appeared Saturday morning and said he was surprised to see we were still there and reiterated that he would not be seeing us on Sunday. He was right -Jeff took his last breath at 2:40PM and his heart did not stop beating until 3:05PM.
I thank God I was able to be with him when he took his last breath - and he was at peace.
This past year has been the hardest journey I have ever been on and I'm sure Jeff felt the same way. A few weeks ago he said "Cheryl, this is so tragic that it's hard not to cry". I know he felt like crying at times - but he never did (at least not in front of me).
Thank you all for your prayers, encouraging words, e-mails, Masses, cards, flowers, food, ,etc. It means more than I can ever say.
His journey has just started and as Fr. Bernie said - what a glorious time for Jeff to be in Heaven.
Around 3AM on Friday the vascular surgeon reviewed the CT scan and gave him a 30% chance of survival if they did perform the surgery - and not only would he have to be intibated (breathing machine) but he would have to be put on dialysis because of kidney failure. This was because the aneurysm was located right below the kidneys and they would have to shut off the blood supply to correct the aneurysm. The big word was IF he survived. The surgeon said he would also be in terrible pain as well. He also said that if he did survive the surgery (followed by added dialysis) he would still have to deal with the brain tumor.
He said this was 'MAJOR MAJOR' surgery but the outcome did not look promising.
The other alternative was to make him "pain free" and comfortable and he recommended that. He said he has less than 24 hours. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make but elected to let him die peacefully without any pain.
Right after the decision was made - they gave him some great pain Rx and I asked him how he was feeling. He said he had no pain but he also had no feeling in his legs from his toes to the pelvic area. The doctors said that was very normal and to expect more of those symptoms.
Around 6AM I asked the nurse to call in the local Catholic Priest. He arrived around 6:30AM and started the "last rites". When Jeff saw him he just looked from me to him and back again and then made the sign of the cross. I truly think he knew it was the end.
After the Priest left I told him that when he gets up in Heaven to please pray for us poor souls left here on earth and his response was "not now" and smiled. I then apologized for losing my temper and getting angry over the past year and it wasn't directed at him but at the situation we found ourselves in. His response to that was to take his finger and thump my nose. So he hadn't lost his sense of humor even to the end.
I came home to shower, etc. and was right back up there mid morning. Around 5PM I left for home - my eyes were burning from no sleep. Don't know why I did that because I never did get any sleep. Called the hospital around 10PM and the informed me they had moved him to the second floor - had a couch set up with pillows, blankets and sheets and I could stay the night. I rushed back around 11PM to spend the night.
He had a male nurse (Eric) who entered the room and asked if we were people of faith and I told him yes. He then asked if he could pray with us. I've never seen this happen before but Eric knelt down at the foot of the bed and prayed. I do know he came back into the room to put another blanket on me and I finally slept until 6AM.
The vascular surgeon appeared Saturday morning and said he was surprised to see we were still there and reiterated that he would not be seeing us on Sunday. He was right -Jeff took his last breath at 2:40PM and his heart did not stop beating until 3:05PM.
I thank God I was able to be with him when he took his last breath - and he was at peace.
This past year has been the hardest journey I have ever been on and I'm sure Jeff felt the same way. A few weeks ago he said "Cheryl, this is so tragic that it's hard not to cry". I know he felt like crying at times - but he never did (at least not in front of me).
Thank you all for your prayers, encouraging words, e-mails, Masses, cards, flowers, food, ,etc. It means more than I can ever say.
His journey has just started and as Fr. Bernie said - what a glorious time for Jeff to be in Heaven.
Monday, March 30, 2009
I don't think this is a good sign
When Jeff first showed symptoms of the tumor his left eye would not move past center - to the outside. After the tumor disappeared in November his eye had full lateral movement. Today I noticed when he was looking at me his good eye (right) was focused dead straight at me - but his left eye was way to the right side (by his tear duct). I'm certainly concerned about that because this is what happened last year - but now it seems to be worse.
I am thankful he has an appointment with the eye surgeon on Thursday afternoon. She wanted him to come in to check the eye that had the cataract.
Please pray that this is not what I think it is (return of the tumor). He has been complaining about eye pain - and I had attributed it to nerve regeneration. I think my theory has been blown out of the water.
I am thankful he has an appointment with the eye surgeon on Thursday afternoon. She wanted him to come in to check the eye that had the cataract.
Please pray that this is not what I think it is (return of the tumor). He has been complaining about eye pain - and I had attributed it to nerve regeneration. I think my theory has been blown out of the water.
Productive Monday
We had quite a rain storm on Saturday evening accompanied by lightening and thunder. We must have had a ton of pollen in the air because on Sunday the deck was all stained yellow. Even hosing it off didn't remove the stain. Today, while Jeff was resting, I pressure washed the deck after applying pool chlorine. Thank goodness all the stain was removed. I also used the opportunity to wash off all the lawn furniture. Chore completed.
Jeff had a restful weekend - but still was plagued with pain. Fortunately he has no chemo this week so he can regain some strength before starting again the following week. I did ask him today how he was and his only comment was he felt "down". That is so sad - I wish I could encourage him to feel positive. When you are DOWN to nothing... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
Have a great Monday.
Jeff had a restful weekend - but still was plagued with pain. Fortunately he has no chemo this week so he can regain some strength before starting again the following week. I did ask him today how he was and his only comment was he felt "down". That is so sad - I wish I could encourage him to feel positive. When you are DOWN to nothing... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
Have a great Monday.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
A calm Friday and Saturday
Last night Jeff decided that he would try sleeping in our king size bed instead of his usual couch. He discovered it was much more comfortable and he got a pretty good night's sleep considering he must have gotten up in the middle night and moved to another bedroom. At least he was in a bed and not on that couch.
Good news yesterday - he actually ate 3 teaspoons of cream of wheat and also a fork full of my dinner salad. I'm sure you are saying to yourself "what a combination". At least he was willing to eat something. Now I call that progress.
His pain level must really be down because he's not asking for pain Rx. His balance and speech is so much better when he's not taking the hydrocodine. I'm thankful for that.
So all in all - the past two days have been a welcomed change and I'll take that whenever God wishes to give it to me.
Have a great weekend.
Good news yesterday - he actually ate 3 teaspoons of cream of wheat and also a fork full of my dinner salad. I'm sure you are saying to yourself "what a combination". At least he was willing to eat something. Now I call that progress.
His pain level must really be down because he's not asking for pain Rx. His balance and speech is so much better when he's not taking the hydrocodine. I'm thankful for that.
So all in all - the past two days have been a welcomed change and I'll take that whenever God wishes to give it to me.
Have a great weekend.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I guess my hearing is not too good .... let me explain
I took Jeff for his sixth chemo this afternoon and had three questions for his "Harley riding" Oncologist. I knew we weren't scheduled to see him - so I just hand a note to the nurse who administers the I.V. (Not that I don't slip into his office on the way out for some light conversation). He's such a neat guy and great bedside manner with his patients.
Now to the hearing problem I must have ..... this was NOT his last chemo. When Dr. H had originally told me 6 treatments it was really 6 (3 session) treatments = 18. Every fourth Thursday he has that off. So in reality Jeff has only had 6 treatments - next week off - and then another 3 treatments - the following week off, on and on until he has completed a total of 18. Then a PET scan will be scheduled. Duh! So we have a way to go before the dreaded PET.
Also he has a urinary tract infection - so will pick up a Rx for that. Thank goodness for Medicare and his supplement Rx insurance.
That's the update ...... I just hope I can keep all of this straight because not only my hearing must be getting bad but I've heard the memory loss follows....
Have a great evening!
Now to the hearing problem I must have ..... this was NOT his last chemo. When Dr. H had originally told me 6 treatments it was really 6 (3 session) treatments = 18. Every fourth Thursday he has that off. So in reality Jeff has only had 6 treatments - next week off - and then another 3 treatments - the following week off, on and on until he has completed a total of 18. Then a PET scan will be scheduled. Duh! So we have a way to go before the dreaded PET.
Also he has a urinary tract infection - so will pick up a Rx for that. Thank goodness for Medicare and his supplement Rx insurance.
That's the update ...... I just hope I can keep all of this straight because not only my hearing must be getting bad but I've heard the memory loss follows....
Have a great evening!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wacky Wednesday
I THINK I accomplished quite a bit today. Not only did the speech therapist arrive to work on Jeff's facial muscles but my screen men showed up. I had to have three screen panels replaced as well as hardware on the man-door. The screening and spline only last about 10 years and you can see where the spline is shrinking. They gave me a good tip - if a hurricane is headed our way I should slash all the screens - which would save the cage. Replacing a cage would cost around $9K versus replacing all the screens at $900. I never thought of that.
After that was all completed I had to take Jeff's van in for an oil change along with having the new tire put on. Thank goodness there were no customers so it only took about 45 minutes to accomplish those two chores.
Tomorrow is Jeff's last chemo in this series - then we will schedule the PET scan. He's plugging along - but last night he was very confused. That always worries me when I'm trying to fall asleep. To be on the safe side I've taken the car keys out of the ignitions. That would be my luck - if he got in the car thinking he could drive and then end up in an accident. I don't need that on my plate as well.
My mother should be moving to the new assisted living facility shortly. There was a big open house reception last night - but with the van just having the temporary tire I couldn't risk driving up to get her and then drive her back. The mechanic said I should not drive far with that tire. I know she was disappointed - but it was not in the cards. Hopefully they will have more open house receptions (complete with a band) after she moves in so she can see what she missed out on.
Have a great Wednesday evening....
After that was all completed I had to take Jeff's van in for an oil change along with having the new tire put on. Thank goodness there were no customers so it only took about 45 minutes to accomplish those two chores.
Tomorrow is Jeff's last chemo in this series - then we will schedule the PET scan. He's plugging along - but last night he was very confused. That always worries me when I'm trying to fall asleep. To be on the safe side I've taken the car keys out of the ignitions. That would be my luck - if he got in the car thinking he could drive and then end up in an accident. I don't need that on my plate as well.
My mother should be moving to the new assisted living facility shortly. There was a big open house reception last night - but with the van just having the temporary tire I couldn't risk driving up to get her and then drive her back. The mechanic said I should not drive far with that tire. I know she was disappointed - but it was not in the cards. Hopefully they will have more open house receptions (complete with a band) after she moves in so she can see what she missed out on.
Have a great Wednesday evening....
Monday, March 23, 2009
When it rains it pours - addition to post earlier today
All went well with the early appointment my mother had with the new nurse. On the way back I took her over to the senior community center to visit with all her old friends prior to dropping her off at Cedar Creek. After dropping her back - I turned around in the parking lot and apparently hit the cement curb - tearing the back tire of the van. Thank goodness there is a foreign auto repair right on the corner - so walked over there and they had me drive the car over. They changed the tire and on the way home I stopped by the place where I get the oil changed and the tires rotated. Al - the owner is ordering me a new tire and it should be in by Wed. It is time for an oil change so will use that opportunity to do both at the same time. I just wasn't planning on paying an additional $165 on Wednesday.
Oh well - it was my stupid mistake - not judging the distance to the curb. Better believe I will back out of that parking lot in the future.
Oh well - it was my stupid mistake - not judging the distance to the curb. Better believe I will back out of that parking lot in the future.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
