Easter Sunday was one year since Jeff passed away. It seems like it has been an eternity - not just 365 days.
I started the day by going to Mass at 8AM - picking up my mother for a day out. We headed towards Tampa and stopped at my younger brother's cemetery plot. He was killed on his motorcycle in '88 at the age of 27 (not his fault). Then we went for lunch on the Gulf - live music, good food and spent the afternoon watching the alligators swimming around the marsh. Thank goodness we were elevated on a deck.
I must confess that I kept my eyes on the clock - being Jeff passed away at 3:05PM. When the clock hands showed it was 3:05 ... I looked around the restaurant and nothing had changed. All the people were still talking, laughing, eating and the music was still blaring. I know Jeff was happy we were out and about and not just sitting at home. He wants me to go on with my life as I would with him if the tables were turned.
Only God knows what the future holds but I know I am a survivor.
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I am now a widow, mother, daughter, sister, aunt and great aunt. Jeff and I had been married 31 years September 2, 2009. We have a beautiful daughter who graduated from University of Wisconsin-Whitewater and went on to get her Masters Degree in Education. We also had been fortunate to visit many beautiful places on vacations throughout the years. To say I've been blessed is an understatement.
Dancing With God
When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
And everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
Both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
Or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness
Gentle guidance and skill .
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "U" and "I".
"God, "U" and "I" dance."
God, you, and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
That I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
And mercies are upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God, as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
And to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.
Interceding in prayer is one of the best gifts
we give can receive.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards;
So let's continue to pray for one another.
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